Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Every Prince Song on Tidal Ranked: 391-301

In the last week, I listened to every Prince album and single on Tidal. And I ranked them all. Somewhere between a combination of "I like" and "most popular" and "most important" or some other such ranking. Some albums aren't on Tidal, including: The Black Album, The Gold Experience, Chaos and Disorder, Crystal Ball, Rave Un2 the Joy Fantastic, The Rainbow Children, Planet Earth, and 20Ten. This means that great songs are missing from the list (see: Pussy Control, Guitar, The One U Wanna C, Gold, The Most Beautiful Girl in the World and others). Here they are in reverse order...

391. "Orgasm" (Come): Pretty much exactly what it sounds like.

390. "Segue #2" (Love Symbol Album): Yay, Kirstie Alley is back for some reason?

389. "Hypnoparadise" (The Slaughterhouse)

388. "One of Your Tears" (The Truth): And on this song, Prince invents Kanye West's inappropriate lyrics fascination.

387. "Animal Kingdom" (The Truth): This is a weird vegetarian advocacy song that doesn't inspire me towards vegetarianism. At one point, Prince does an impression of Beaker from the Muppets, it seems.

386. "Lolita" (3121)

385. "La, La, La Means I Love U" (Emancipation): Prince chose poorly as to what songs to cover on Emancipation. He doesn't do a bad job with them, they just aren't great songs.

384. "Sexmesexmenot" (The Chocolate Invasion)

383. "Let's Have a Baby" (Emancipation)

382. "Objects in the Mirror" (One Night Alone...)

381. "The Dance" (3121)

380. "Underneath the Cream" (The Chocolate Invasion)

379. "Golden Parachute" (The Slaughterhouse)

378. "Better with Time" (MPLSound)

377. "A Million Days" (Musicology)

376. "One Kiss at a Time" (Emancipation)

375. "A Case of U" (One Night Alone...)

374. "Breakdown" (Art Official Age)

373. "Pearls B4 the Swine" (One Night Alone...): Some things just aren't things you should sing about, like bagels and cream cheese.

372. "Joint 2 Joint" (Emancipation)

371. "Betcha by Golly Wow!" (Emancipation): Doesn't add much to the original, which I didn't like that much anyway.

370. "U Make My Sun Shine" (The Chocolate Invasion): Not a bad song, but when you've written this song 50 times already...

369. "Emale" (Emancipation): The name of this song, like a lot of the album, is a bit stretched and tortured. The rest of the song isn't much better.

368. "The Human Body" (Emancipation)

367. "Osaka" (C Note)

366. "Y Should Eye Do That When Eye Can Do This?" (The Slaughterhouse): Prince was much harder earlier, on Diamonds and Pearls, this rapping seems kinda silly.

365. "Empty Room" (C Note)

364. "Tokyo" (C Note)

363. "Sleep Around" (Emancipation)

362. "Beautiful, Loved and Blessed" (3121)

361. "Sex in the Summer" (Emancipation)

360. "Circle of Amour" (The Truth)

359. "I Can't Make U Love Me" (Emancipation): Prince improves upon the original, which I never liked.

358. "Dark" (Come)

357. "The Daisy Chain" (The Slaughterhouse)

356. "Emancipation" (Emancipation)

355. "Dionne" (The Truth)

354. "Lemon Crush" (Batman)

353. "Segue #1" (Love Symbol Album): The story on the album now contains Kirstie Alley. Okay.

352. "It's Gonna Be Lonely" (Prince)

351. "Gotta Broken Heart Again" (Dirty Mind)

350. "My Love Is Forever" (For You)

349. "The Latest Fashion" (Graffiti Bridge)

348. "Xosphere" (Xpectation)

347. "New Power Generation (Pt. II)" (Graffiti Bridge)

346. "With You" (Prince)

345. "The Holy River" (Emancipation)

344. "Valentina" (MPLSound)

343. "AnotherLove" (Plectrumelectrum)

342. "Private Joy" (Controversy)

341. "Avalanche" (One Night Alone...): The most interesting part of this song is the line "Abraham Lincoln was a racist," the rest puts me to sleep.

340. "Sweet Baby" (Love Symbol Album): Sickeningly sweet.

339. "Old Friends 4 Sale" (The Vault: Old Friends 4 Sale)

338. "West" (N.E.W.S.)

337. "What Do U Want Me 2 Do?" (Musicology)

336. "East" (N.E.W.S.)

335. "Clouds" (Art Official Age)

334. "On the Couch" (Musicology)

333. "Props 'n' Pounds" (The Slaughterhouse)

332. "North" (N.E.W.S.)

331. "Still Waiting" (Prince): This one's a little bit country, a little bit R&B.

330. "Pheromone" (Come)

329. "TicTacToe" (Plectrumelectrum)

328. "Silicon" (The Slaughterhouse)

327. "She Spoke 2 Me" (The Vault: Old Friends 4 Sale)

326. "Fury" (3121)

325. "Sister" (Dirty Mind): Prince really isn't allowed to sing about this stuff, is he? And that demo-quality and discordant guitair is just as effective as the insane lyrics.

324. "Sexy Dancer" (Prince): Is the part when he starts breathing heavy about halfway through the song supposed to make me feel tingly?

323. "Satisfied" (3121)

322. "Style" (Emancipation)

321. "South" (N.E.W.S.)

320. "Supercute" (The Chocolate Invasion)

319. "The Love We Make" (Emancipation)

318. "My Computer" (Emancipation)

317. "Somebody's Somebody" (Emancipation)

316. "WhiteCaps" (Plectrumelectrum)

315. "U're Gonna C Me" (One Night Alone...)/(MPLSound)

314. "Judas Smile" (The Chocolate Invasion)

313. "Here on Earth" (One Night Alone...)

312. "One Nite Alone..." (One Night Alone...)

311. "StopThisTrain" (Plectrumelectrum)

310. "5 Women" (The Vault: Old Friends 4 Sale)

309. "When the Lights Go Down" (The Vault: Old Friends 4 Sale)

308. "High" (The Chocolate Invasion)

307. "There Is Lonely" (The Vault: Old Friends 4 Sale)

306. "Vavoom" (The Chocolate Invasion)

305. "Extraordinary" (The Vault: Old Friends 4 Sale)

304. "3rd I" (The Truth)

303. "Damned if I Do" (Emancipation)

302. "FixUrLifeUp" (Plectrumelectrum)

301. "Dance On"  (Lovesexy)


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